June 8th, 2009 by Neal

But still chugging along.

Just finished chapter 6 of 13-14 on the third draft, but I need a break, number one, and I need to get less sick, number two, so I’m cutting out early today. I hate that feeling, though. My mind recoils in horror at the idea of rest. I know, however, it will slow the bug, so I must.

April 6th, 2009 by Neal

Kristen gleefully informed me that Monkeys tried to take the city of Portland while we were in Seattle.

Nice try, you simian bastards. I got back just in time. One day you may rule this Earth long after I am gone, but NOT ON MY WATCH, you fecal anthropomorphic semi-coherent mirror images! Not on my watch!

Here. Have a banana. Who’s a good monkey?

They’re cute until they pull the hand out from behind their backs with poo missiles, then make away from the zoo and into the general populace, where they try and take your daughter as some kind of strange, bestial monkey bride.

Keep a look out! They might be right behind you.

Note that this is my second article today sanctioning and applauding Oregon Live. They covered my comics, and they also keep us abreast of the MONKEY MENACE. They have my seal of approval.

But there’s still one of them out there, apparently. So I’m gonna take Hunter for a walk with a pair of sai. Be on your guard. Be vigilant. Keep bananas on hand at all times, and do not trust furry men in business suits who knock on the door and ook.

The last one is loose on a college campus, and given the propensity for drunk frat boys to dress like gorillas, it may just end with someone accidentally getting shot. Or banana’d. Or worse.

Apparently, they have the evil monkey herpes (0:30 in the video). Beware!

Apologies for the weird white box. Can’t seem to be rid of it.

March 6th, 2009 by Neal

As I have indicated, but to reiterate, I will be away from the 6th to the 15th.

If I do not answer my email, do not be insulted. If you call me and I ignore you, do not be dissuaded. The phone is your best bet.

If you knock on my door, it will end like this video unless you are one of five people who already know who they are. Nothing personal. I just need to disappear for a while.

This is the final warning, if you need something, tomorrow is your last chance. MOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo…

February 16th, 2009 by admin

I took a WEEKEND! Woo!

It took a while, but from Friday night to Sunday night, I did nothing but HAVE FUN. I watched a few shitty movies, a few good ones (Sharpe’s Eagle, Dexter), and didn’t turn the computer on save to add what we spent into my new, handy Excel sheet. I have transformed my love for number crunching into our budget. Where before I was strategy man, now I have actually taken charge of the bills and I have set it up so that we can save 25 percent of our earnings and still have money for fun.

Which is where 65 bucks went this weekend. Music. I finally found a decent music store in town, and I needed it.

I also, notably, beat Bioshock in TWO DAYS. I put in HOURS, son. I didn’t realize it would happen, because I was lukewarm to the game for the first two hours of gameplay (I knew it would get better, but didn’t have the time to get to it), and then BAM! It’s a HUGE Ayn Rand riff, and I didn’t even realize it! It’s complex, it’s got awesome narrative. If you’ve read Atlas Shrugged, it will wax your ass with radness. It never really explicity condemns or endorses Rand, but it explores the consequences of her methodology. I was expecting a shoot ‘em up. It actually turned out to be a better experience than Fallout, which is sad, because Fallout had real potential.

It helped me realize that the games I’ve been bored with haven’t sucked, I just haven’t given them enough of a chance because I’m so busy. I plan on taking more weekends, because this one was so good to me. I’m gonna beat Ninja Gaiden 2 and Mass Effect in my week off next month, if I can. I might even finish GTA 4, which I had mostly beaten but haven’t yet.

I did get another wonderful call from the renter in Kapowsin this weekend, whereby he started to again berate me for “lifting the house.” I told him I’d hang up on him if his next sentence didn’t have something about negotation in it, and miraculously, he listened and said that he needed more time in the house, because he can’t be out in five days. I laid it down for him and said he WOULD be out by the end of the month, no matter what, but if he leaves the property clean, we might forgive some of the debt.

I doubt he’ll accomplish it.

But regardless, finances are in hand, work is lining up, I have a vacation coming. Things feel great despite being at their seeming worst.

Two days will often do quite a lot to shock your biology back into functionality. I must, however, shake off this damned giant suit and this dumb five-year-old girl who keeps following me going “NO! NO!”

February 12th, 2009 by Neal

I have decided, barring objection, that my week off will be from March 6 (Friday) to March 15 (Sunday).

I will be shutting the phone off, avoiding my computer, engaging only in mindless activity, and I may even just get in the car or get on my bike and flat-out disappear. I may check my email, but I will likely not be responding.

You have until the end of this month to object to that if you need me during that time.

I will be available for precisely one coffee (already determined and relaxing in its own right) and that’s IT.

PERIOD.

If you call me and try to arrange something to be done in that week, you SUCK and I will find you and PEE ON YOU unless you are DC COMICS or a major publishing house. Then I might forgive it. Otherwise, PEE. Right in your eye.

Speak now, or eat it, fool!